GallifreyanSub: I solemnly swear that I will not...
GallifreyanSub: I solemnly swear that I will not...:
- Sing "hit me baby one more time" during a spanking.
- Squirt lube/squirty cream in his face and tell him I'm into 'giving' facials.
- Hide his spanking implements and replace them with Pokemon cards and chocolate bars.
- Use the Hitachi Wand as a pretend microphone.
- Say "now make me a sandwich" after he's made me cum.
- Ask if he "kisses his momma with that mouth" while he's dirty talking.
- Shout "ThunderCats are go" when he's about to cum.
- Roll my eyes.
- Stomp my feet.
- Spank him with a spatula.
- Refer to him as "my bitch"
- Decorate with stickers, or attach balloons to his toy collection.
- Put nipple clamps on the chicken breasts in his fridge.
- Glue all the pegs together.
- Say "good girl" or "left a bit, right a bit" or hand him an A to Z while he's performing oral sex on me.
- Recite the plot to High School Musical when he asks me how my day has been.
- Replace the contents of his underwear drawer with pretty girl knickers.
- Fill his pockets full of sequins and glitter.
- Draw a willy on his face while he sleeps.
- Draw a face on his willy while he sleeps.
- Attempt to capture/kidnap/restrain him. He is much taller, stronger, smarter, and meaner than me. Remember that!
- Use his rope for skipping.
- Refer to the kitchen as "his office"
- Change his desktop wallpaper to a collage of kittens, cupcakes and hearts.
- Change his ringtone to Justin Bieber.
- Shout "Hammer Time" when he tells me to stop.
- Text him random facts about cats in the middle of the night.
- Ask "is it in yet?"
- Call him Daddy in the supermarket, while squeezing his bum.
- Shout "you shall not pass" when he tries to insert his penis into me.
- Ask him to "take the Ring to Mordor" and hand him a cock ring.
- Refer to sex as porking or making bacon.
- Talk to him all about bacteria when he asks for dirty talk.
- Call his penis Princess Fluffykins/Pretty McPrettyton/a grown up lollipop.
- Say "she shoots, she scores" or score him out of ten after we've done the blanket dance.
- Ask if he has his man period.
- Stomp my feet and say "but I want to ride the penis"
- Gargle his man juice, or wipe it on his curtains.
- Pretend to choke to death.
- Use Bazinga as a safeword.
- Compare his penis to a strap on, and threaten him with it.
- Ask "are we there yet?" during sex.
- Make sheep noises.
- Measure/hit his penis with a spoon.
- Say "mmm you smell like my dad"
- Rickroll him during sex.
- Shout "trolls, trolls, the fucking trolls" in the middle of the night.
- Go cock eyed while looking up during a blow job.
- Pull his hair and call him Mary.
- Make him roses out of cum tissues.
- Stop mid hand job and ask him to pull my finger.
- Fall asleep during luuuuuurve making.
- Sing the Hokey Pokey while he contours me into different positions.
- Threaten him with vegetables.
- Ask if he's paying with cash or credit card.
- Punch the air/do the "I got laid" dance after sex.
- Disagree with his choice of punishment, and recommend my own.
- Call him a wuss/girl/wimp/pussy. It hurts.
- Threaten to stop tending my lady garden.
- Write threats on the bathroom mirror.
- Tell him I want a knickerbocker glory. We have different ideas of what this is!
- Put vegetables/slices of meat in his bed and tell him he has upset the local farmers market mafia.
- Shout "safeword" or "hard limit" when he tries to express his feelings.
- Perform surprise popping candy blow jobs.
- Do a Gollum impression and say "my precious" when he whispers threats in my ear.
- Continue to reference Lord of the Rings.
- Hogtie him while he sleeps. Boundaries. Consent. I'm learning.
- Do ice down his pants surprise attacks.
- Shout "beam me up, Scotty" when pulls out a Hitachi wand.
- Jump up and down on his bed while shouting "look at me! Check me out! I'm so awesome! I can swim like a motherfucking fish!"
- Ask him where he thinks our relationship is going?, What's on the tellybox later?, How his mum is doing? when he's about to cum.
- Hide chocolate buttons in his fleshlight. Chocolate willy surprise!
- Sew his belt to his pants.
- Take a picture of his cum face "SAY CHEESE!"
*retitles as "List of things to do"*
LOL things I may do…
Shout "TROLL! TROLL in the dungeon," when he inserts.
Go crazy, ask me these scando questions.
a: have you ever smoked weed? If yes, tell us the craziest thing you've done while high.b: what's your favorite restaurant? do you get the same thing every time you go?
c: biggest insecurity?
d: any pets? tell us about them!
e: name 5 things you dislike about yourself and 5 things you like about yourself
f: ever been to a foreign country? If not, where do you want to go most?
g: what are 5 objects that you can grab right now?
h: 3 bad habits?
i: yes or no: you've done something illegal. (brave ones will say what!)
j: what does the last text message you received say?
k: what does the last text message you sent say?
l: is there one thing that always makes you laugh?
m: 3 things you hope happen before summer ends?
n: 5 turn offs
o: 5 turn ons
p: smash or pass the person who sends this to you
q: quote your favorite song lyric
r: what's the one item you treasure te most?
s: spit or swallow?
t: tell us the story of _____
u: favorite thing about yourself?
v: are you a virgin?
w: what do you think about young love?
x: one x-rated thing you would do with {insert url or celebrity here}
y: one person you really admire and why?
z: what time do you usually go to bed?
@: last time you touched your private parts?
;): Guys, last time you masturbated? How often do you masturbate? Girls, have you ever masturbated?
:*: ever kissed anyone of the same sex?
!!: something we'd find surprising about you?
%: do you still talk to the last person you kissed?
+: would you rather cuddle or spoon?
Photo
Photo
mynameismaster: gallifreyansub: nerdgeekgamerdork: agrownupgee...
From the same new artist I'm in LOVE with and have been spamming today:
I will never look at Harry Potter the same again lol.
I refuse to apologize for this
10 points to Gryffindor! And 5 extra for Crookshanks
mynameismaster: *sigh* "The shit I put up with for this little...
*sigh* "The shit I put up with for this little girl" - Dog
rurone: Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this...
Some people might feel sorry for themselves in this situation
Puppy don't care
Puppy's got shit to do
mynameismaster: erotique-sighs: rahmagical: 2bad: m00nlightve...
2bad:
The girl gasped as she watched her shoe fall from the roof of their ten storey apartment building. Her eyes widened in horror when her slipper didn't hit the cold cement ground below as predicted—instead it landed upon the head of a passerby.
The young man stumbled and nearly fell over by the sudden assault on his head.
Dazed, the man looked around for what had hit him and found a simple, white slipper. He looked to the roof where he could only assume the shoe came from and found the young girl from floor six.
"Hey!"
"Sorry!" She called down.
The man grabbed her fallen shoe and yelled back at her, "Wait right there!"
The girl hopped off the ledge and wrung her hands together anxiously as she waited. Her heart pounded loudly that she feared that it would pop right out of her chest. She debated waiting as instructed or fleeing. If she stayed she would definitely get an earful. If she left she could avoid him—but face his wrath another day and risk the possibility of her parents finding out.
Before she could make her final decision, the door leading to the rooftop flew open and the man stepped forward .
"Is this your shoe?" He asked though he already knew the answer.
The girl bowed deeply, "I'm so sorry."
The man sighed "Sit down," he instructed as he gestured towards the ledge. The girl did as she was told—too frightened to question his demand. She kept apologizing profusely as the man drew near and shook like a leaf on a windy day.
She nearly shrieked when the man knelt down in front of her and lifted her right leg.
"W-what are you doing?!" She asked in a surprised voice when the man took her fallen shoe and secured it back onto her foot.
Still kneeling, the man glanced up, giving the girl a view of his handsome face. "It is a gentleman's duty to return a woman's shoe." He explained simply.
The man stood as a pink colour bloomed beautifully on the girl's cheeks. "T-thank you…"
A smile tugged at the man's lips. "No need to thank me."
"Wha—" The girl began to ask when the man placed two large hands on her shoulders but was cut short when he pushed her backwards.Down she fell, a scream stuck in her throat. The last thing she saw before she met the hard ground was the back of the man's retreating back.
oH MY GOD
I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE SOME INSPIRATIONAL HIPSTER POST BUT I THOUGHT WRONG
what
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED THIS IS NOT THE ENDING TO CINDERELLA
I went from "aww" to "dear god what did I just read???"
The moral of the story, don't drop shoes on people, and if you do, get the hell out of there!
mynameismaster: erotique-sighs: rahmagical: 2bad: m00nlightve...
2bad:
The girl gasped as she watched her shoe fall from the roof of their ten storey apartment building. Her eyes widened in horror when her slipper didn't hit the cold cement ground below as predicted—instead it landed upon the head of a passerby.
The young man stumbled and nearly fell over by the sudden assault on his head.
Dazed, the man looked around for what had hit him and found a simple, white slipper. He looked to the roof where he could only assume the shoe came from and found the young girl from floor six.
"Hey!"
"Sorry!" She called down.
The man grabbed her fallen shoe and yelled back at her, "Wait right there!"
The girl hopped off the ledge and wrung her hands together anxiously as she waited. Her heart pounded loudly that she feared that it would pop right out of her chest. She debated waiting as instructed or fleeing. If she stayed she would definitely get an earful. If she left she could avoid him—but face his wrath another day and risk the possibility of her parents finding out.
Before she could make her final decision, the door leading to the rooftop flew open and the man stepped forward .
"Is this your shoe?" He asked though he already knew the answer.
The girl bowed deeply, "I'm so sorry."
The man sighed "Sit down," he instructed as he gestured towards the ledge. The girl did as she was told—too frightened to question his demand. She kept apologizing profusely as the man drew near and shook like a leaf on a windy day.
She nearly shrieked when the man knelt down in front of her and lifted her right leg.
"W-what are you doing?!" She asked in a surprised voice when the man took her fallen shoe and secured it back onto her foot.
Still kneeling, the man glanced up, giving the girl a view of his handsome face. "It is a gentleman's duty to return a woman's shoe." He explained simply.
The man stood as a pink colour bloomed beautifully on the girl's cheeks. "T-thank you…"
A smile tugged at the man's lips. "No need to thank me."
"Wha—" The girl began to ask when the man placed two large hands on her shoulders but was cut short when he pushed her backwards.Down she fell, a scream stuck in her throat. The last thing she saw before she met the hard ground was the back of the man's retreating back.
oH MY GOD
I THOUGHT THIS WOULD BE SOME INSPIRATIONAL HIPSTER POST BUT I THOUGHT WRONG
what
WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED THIS IS NOT THE ENDING TO CINDERELLA
I went from "aww" to "dear god what did I just read???"
The moral of the story, don't drop shoes on people, and if you do, get the hell out of there!
i'm laughing way too hard at this, holy rabies.
mynameismaster: southerndom: itsthenatureofthestarstocross: T...
itsthenatureofthestarstocross:
That awful moment when you learn that this wasn't scripted. That Will Smith's character was actually supposed to brush off the whole thing, but Will's father actually had left him when he was younger and he just fell apart on the set and the hug at the end was from one actor to another, not one character to another.
^ description <3
This scene makes me cry every time
Well, i had almost cheered myself up.
awlsquee: bumfinger: nohayenlavidanada: perfectreplacement: T...
These are all SO me.
Every. Single. One.
Yup
Apparently I'm British…
show-them-what-a-dream-is-for: mystradedoodles: actualvriskaser...
show-them-what-a-dream-is-for:
i think this is how i feel most of the time
i got u balloons
omg you are so cute
i got u a cat
i made you a cake
UNZ UNZ UNZ UNZ
LETS GO PARTY TIME
this is the most comforting post on tumblr omfg
mynameismaster: cecinestpasundyc: caffeinatedfeminist: magic-m...
a fork, a mouse, and Panty & Stocking….
Welp.
A blanket, a laptop, and Ned the Pie-Maker.
A pillow, a cell phone, and the tenth Doctor.
A blanket, a water bottle, and Buffy.
A pen, a phone, and Rick Grimes
A metal water bottle, a semi-full backpack, and Stan Smith. This is gonna be interesting.
A Wii mote, a nail file, and Sansa Stark (shut up, she's totally the main character)
Uhhhhhh, steel bar, so that's nice, spare ethernet cord, and Omar. Or McNulty if you want to be pedantic, which is fine, he's good police.
Primary weapon: A bar of deodorant (fuck). Secondary weapon: A set of keys to a Kawasaki Ninja with a storm trooper keychain (Awesome, but useless in a fight)….My only surviving friend? The Doctor. I think I'mma be just fine.
I have a kitten and a bottle of gatorade, but I'll be with the Winchesters, so…. I'm probably gonna come out of this like a rose.
Photo
gallifreyansub: daddydominuslovesyou: pageofmelody: chesiresai...
I humanized the Magic School Bus, since it's Ms Frizzle's TARDIS equivalent! I mean, she IS a Timelord right? And the cliche of overused references ensued!
SDTGJRGGHSORIFUSAEHFEufAEOFIUROSIGSG;oidfgodsirgnzdlNigoSJFGOSDIFGLSRGS
dsak;lfjads;lgkjateg;lijag!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy!
its back on my dash
wow she certainly is
busty
OH MY FUCKING GOD
It got better
mynameismaster: skin-byrd3: btprincessgirl: herrmedic: lollip...
These are… actually pretty inspiring.
Cool.
Forever reblog.
"you are never taller than when you stand up for yourself"
thats just awesome
"You're the result of 4 billion years of evolutionary success; F***ING ACT LIKE IT."
My fave right there.
Fuck yes
It's a Courage Wolf kind of day.
mynameismaster: q-bit: √ Aw, Darth Daddy
√
Aw, Darth Daddy
mynameismaster: a-seedy-old-man: i am crying, so hard This...
i am crying, so hard
This breaks my heart. I miss my big big sister too, kid…
That is so terribly sad :(
gallifreyansub: cartoongirlsinbondage: tt13 by ~erikson1 I...
I don't think anyone understands. I have such a thing for bondage and D/s and princesses. This is super yummy.
daddyboo-and-sluttyprincess: trentofsky: I always think of Canada as the lovechild of England and...
I always think of Canada as the lovechild of England and France after they had a drunken one night stand and England just left it to grow up with its big brother America who was like the rebel of the family.
Lol
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